My Heart Can Be a Liar

Skipping to fifth grade and the subject of September eleventh two-thousand-one I have to say that I was in that same library as Yellow-day. (link at the end of this post) But this wasn’t the first I had heard of it. My mother had the news on that morning and was crying. She was upset and said that the World Trade Center had been hit with a plane. But I had never heard of the World Trade Center and by some chance more tears came with anger towards me from what I hadn’t been schooled on.

I walked to school like any other day and by the time I was there waiting for the first whistles with my peers to line up and head into our designated classrooms. I remember that through the morning routine the phone rang unusually often to interrupt our lessons followed by a TV being turned on to a national news channel but put on mute. The typical kids were naturally distracted that there was a TV on and then a few more phone calls with a dismissal to read independently at an unusual time.

Then we were called to go to the library. We were told to be quiet, absolutely quiet, and we were not to talk amongst ourselves. We were told that listening now was our only option to possibly understand what was happening. We walked in silence. Dead quiet in the hall, in the library, and as the two other classrooms joined us. It had to be 70-100 students in the grade. We were all shoved together tightly in front of a small TV on a roller stand still quiet. And we listened without talking, without saying a single word to anyone, our curious faces all pressed to the same angle. Without a word the principal slid in behind us and locked the library doors.

There were a few of the peers who had already started crying. These were the crybabies, the children from unstable families, and the quiet kids who were naturally timid. The teachers were also crying, or most of them. The more curious had asked but no reason given, just shaken heads and more crying from both the teachers and the already crying children they were trying to comfort.

I already knew that some building had been attacked. My comprehension at that point was low to know that the two towers were the same place. As we sat down a second plane hit the towers. That’s when the principal stepped in and started to explain why we were there. When it came down to it it was said that rumors had been spreading and they were relying on us to calm the “little ones” from all the hype. But as I know telling fifth graders to keep a secret is like laying a hundred dollar bill by a homeless man. It’s not going to stay a secret. The rest of the day was tried to be played normal and I believe we dismissed an hour early that day.

I remember thinking that if something so big could be bombed then what would stop who ever was attacking to stop at the World Trade Center. That question filled my mind the rest of the day bringing fear with it. Once home my mom tried to reassure me that our town wouldn’t be attacked and that it was over. In reality I wonder if she wondered the same question.

As an adult today I know the ability to reassure a child. Sometimes they ask the same questions you do. Sometimes you have to lie about the answer. More times than not that answer is a lie you want to believe is true and hearing it out loud like it is a fact can be more comforting than never saying the lie at all. I knew I was being lied to. I knew that the education they told civilians in WWII about atom bombs was a lie. I knew my mom couldn’t promise my safety even if she wanted to. I never reacted exactly to the news only to say that my reaction was none but questions. Even as a child I thought more about what was happening and what could be done (though limited in my education) than I ever did reacting to it and causing a drama, scene, or fit.

I can’t say which theory is true today other than I know for a fact that the plane jackers were indeed from al-Qaeda and the planes that hit the World Trade Center were not the only planes hijacked that day. Though if the socialist reign didn’t truly start with Obama the whole who-did-what could be a complete hoax. It’s not like I run politics or that I control what airs on TV. We could be as naive as North Korea and possibly never know it. Too many things go underground these days.

I also remember that September 12th or 13th that year was going to have a trip to get a military dependent ID replaced before the expiration date, but the red alert delayed the trip.

Yellow-Day and 9/11 here.